Wednesday, February 25, 2015
However, bullying happens everywhere. At work. At home. In social settings. Everywhere.
The work bully may antagonize, yell, scream, criticize, and insult others - and I've worked with people like this. There is another kind of work bully that I've also had experience with, though; and they are much worse.
A bully that is more detrimental to an organization seems cooperative and works hard. People may admire them because they succeed in their work. They are good influencers and negotiators. Most times, they come across as good leaders because people listen to them. Introduce a situation that they do not like, though, and their bullying nature emerges.
Because this kind of bully is liked and admired, it is difficult to identify that they are bullying. It may seem they are simply being assertive, maybe a bit aggressive, but not quite bullying - at first. Those that are bullied by this person may feel they are to blame for any conflict. It may be difficult to even understand what is happening because the bully seems like a nice person, others like him, but the person bullied knows something is awry.
The person bullied may begin to shrink from working with the bully, may leave his/her job, or may refuse to be bullied and stand up to the bully. When that happens, the bully comes out in full force. He/she may lie and try to sabotage others' work, undermine authority, and do whatever he/she believes needs to be done to maintain his/her reputation - and that might mean tainting the reputation of others if necessary.
This kind of bully gets to a point where they CAN do these things without repercussions because of poor leadership. This kind of bully often IS in a leadership role. How does that happen?
In the case I witnessed, the bully was placed in a leadership position because she got results. She was technically good at her job. She brought in money. Her projects were successful. She was rewarded with compensation and responsibility... until she was in a leadership position.
The problem was that no one called her on 'how' she got results. Because she got results, nobody cared what happened in order for her to get them. The fact that complaints were made about her and others refused to work with her flew under the radar. Because she could be aggressive and had the inclination to destroy someone's career with her lies and innocent nature, most people did not speak out against her. Those that did, did not 'win' because her 'leader' saw results and wanted those results to stay.
In the end, this kind of bully gets rewarded for being a bully. And this is detrimental to an organization. This bully may bring in results; however, those she works with either leave or lay low and do not perform at their maximum potential. Productivity suffers. Attitude suffers. Culture suffers. Customer service suffers. Sales suffer. Retention suffers.
A mindful leader will not tolerate bullying in order to get results. A mindful leader would address the bullying head on and either help the person bullying deal with what is going on in his/her life (because that is what bullying is really about) or help them leave the company with dignity.
Bullying can be stopped in the workplace with compassion and courage. Mindful leaders will face the fear of being attacked by the bully and do it with compassion and respect for the bully - because he/she is human. And THAT is how bullying needs to be addressed for a win-win outcome.
Friday, February 13, 2015
In honor of Valentine's Day and what I have always called Love Month, I am holding a contest! Research has shown that the more mindful a supervisor, the lower his or her employees' emotional exhaustion and higher their job satisfaction. This is great! However, there was one caveat. When basic psychological needs, such as autonomy and connection with others, are not met, the employee can lose the benefits of having a mindful supervisor.
So, I am giving you an opportunity to practice your mindfulness skills with your team and colleagues, but also to practice connecting with others. This is what love at work is about. It is not a romantic love or fluffy, hairy fairy stuff. It is being human, being compassionate, and connecting with people. And the outcome can be higher engagement, more creativity, improved productivity, higher retention, and generally happier employees. If nothing else, you have an opportunity to get to know the people you work with on a deeper level.
Post on my Facebook Page that you have done something to connect with another person in your workplace each day of the contest, which begins today (Feb. 13th) and ends on Feb. 28th. Your name will be put into a draw as many times as you post. The prize is a 1-year subscription to Mindful Magazine and a free coaching session with me:)
Suggestions for connecting:
- Smile at someone at work whom you do not usually smile at.
- Write a thank-you note to someone who has helped you at work.
- Give your manager/boss/supervisor/mentor a compliment about his/her leadership.
- Give an employee a compliment about his/her work.
- Listen to someone who needs to be listened to. Give your 100% attention. Set everything aside for at least 5 minutes to just listen.
- Identify three things you love about your work and share them with someone you work with. Ask them to share what they love about work with you.
- Sit with someone for lunch whom you do not typically sit with. Ask them about their life.
- Ask someone at work to walk with you at lunch.
- Strike a committee to identify how you can shift your culture to be more compassionate.
- Allow someone at work to be right - even if you think you are right and they are wrong. Tell them they are right.
What else can you think of? Share your ideas and the impact this has in your workplace on my Facebook page... and Share the love with others by sharing this blog or Facebook post.