Got (hate) Mail?

Recently, I received hate mail.  Someone was very upset about something I wrote.  The message threw shame, disappointment, judgement, and anger my way. My ego would like to defend my point of view, explain my situation, and justify my position.  My soul is injured.

And I would like to thank that person who sent me the message.

I was more than hurt after reading the message she had for me.  The person who sent me the message did not perceive what I wrote the way it was intended.  And that is what happens in day to day life and work over and over and over.  It results in misunderstandings, conflict, lost relationships, and lost opportunities.  It results in hurt, sadness, self-destruction, and unrest.

However, ignoring the others' perspective results in a lost opportunity to raise your self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

Have you ever received hate mail?  Or have you ever sent it?  This is no different than schoolyard bullying.  In any bullying situation, the bullying has to end with love and compassion.

This type of bullying has become so easy with email and social media.  I have seen it many times in the workplace.  Emails or messages are sent in anger and upset. Typically, it is not sent with the intention to harm.  But, what ensues is conflict, chaos, and other people getting involved and taking sides. Gossip, tension, and an unwillingness to work together results.

It can ruin an organizational culture.  Just one email.

In work and life, we automatically go to the need to win in the situation.  We must be right. We defend our behaviours and feel a sense of accomplishment when we 'win' a misunderstanding or conflict.  It brings a false sense of power and falsely raises our confidence.  Indeed, underneath it all, we are simply feeding our need to be understood and loved.  A true mindful leader does not need to win, rather is more interested in serving others.  That may mean the other person 'wins', and if that is what is good for the greater good, that is the road the mindful leader takes.

When it becomes evident that anger is being thrown around, solutions are ignored, and people are simply defending their behaviours - right or wrong, good or bad - the only way out is to stop it in its tracks.  

Here are a few things I learned from this experience that you may find useful in a similar situation:

• When you write, consider how the reader will perceive your words.  I did do this in my situation, however, I evidently missed a possible reaction.  This is risk management... there is still always a risk that someone will be upset by something you write.  You CAN ask yourself why you are writing about this topic, particularly if it is a sensitive issue.  If it is to harm anyone in any way, you may want to reconsider.  This was definitely not my intention... but it did hurt someone.  Next time I hope I will have a broader and wiser awareness. We make mistakes.  We are human.  The best way to deal with mistakes is to learn from them.  That said, we also can't control how others react to things. Sometimes, your words may be helpful in many ways, yet still harm someone because they live in a negative world or are simply too hurt to see things differently.  We do need to be mindful of our words, but if we speaking the truth with the intention to help or serve others, sometimes people will get hurt anyway.  And sometimes that simply isn't your issue to deal with.

• If/when you receive hate mail, physically remove yourself from the situation.  In my situation, I read the mail, told my husband about it, began to cry, and then left to be alone for a while.  I also made a conscious effort to not re-read the message over and over.  Hatred and negativity eats us up.  We can fall into feeling completely unworthy.  If we don't shed those thoughts, we can become less and less engaged in life and at work, not to mention get physically sick.

• Allow the emotions you feel to pass.  All emotions pass through you and then end.  As humans, we can experience every emotion from shame to love. It's when we don't allow the negative ones to come and pass that they stick around and wreak havoc on us.  Shame is one of the darkest emotions one can feel.  When you feel shame, do not allow it to sit inside you.  It can lead to depression and self destruction.  I had a lot of good cries for a few days following the mail I received.  I allowed all the feelings of shame, anger, hurt, and sadness to move through me.  I physically felt them in my heart, my throat, my belly, my head.  And they have mostly passed now.  When something hurts us to the core, it takes time for emotions to pass.  Give yourself that time.  If you need alone time, indulge in it, but don't remove yourself from life.  Take some time each day for reflection and carry on with your day.  Do the things you love to do.  Be with the people you love to be with.  Realize that the negative delivery of a message to you is not about you.  No matter what mistakes you make or what incidents lead to the receipt of hate mail, you are still human and fully deserving of love and peace and greatness.

• Drum up some love.  Depending on the situation, this can be quite difficult. But we are all the same.  We all essentially and simply want love.  I did a loving-kindness meditation - several times.  It helped me realize that the person who sent me the message was simply hurt and angry. Her perspective was not wrong - it was far from what I consciously intended, but it was her perspective nevertheless.  Once I could see this, I could respond to her with love.  I responded to her message and thanked her for sharing her perspective.  How she receives that message is none of my business.  We cannot control others - only our own responses and feelings.  On the other hand, I also had to find love for myself.  We beat ourselves up so easily. Finding self-love will allow us to send love out.  In the workplace, this is not widely accepted - yet.  However, it is a highly successful solution to reducing conflict and fostering a culture of excellence, collaboration, and creativity.

• Realize you do not have to be right.  What is 'right' anyway?  Sometimes you are right. Sometimes you are not.  We all believe we are right.  Being right and proving it is not the definition of success.  I wrote something.  I can't change what I did.  Was it right?  Well, several people who read it thanked me. One person sent me hate mail.  Was it right?  I don't know that answer - and it doesn't matter.  I'm OK with allowing the one(s) I angered to be right.  That allows me to see another perspective.  It also stops the negativity cycle.

• Delete it and move on.  If you are experiencing something that has been going on for a long time, this can take more than simply deleting an email. However, it is possible to kick negative thoughts from the past out of your head whenever they arise and remove sources of hatred or negativity from your life. After responding to this lady with as much love as I could muster at that time, I deleted the correspondence.  I have had almost a week to let it dissolve, and no doubt if that message was still in my inbox, I would have read it again and the negative feelings would linger longer.

• Find gratitude.  Yes, gratitude for the hurt, the pain... and the lesson.  When you open yourself to learning something from life, life opens up.  Learn the lesson and be grateful to the person who taught it to you.  It does not matter how they respond to your gratitude.  You do not have to be best friends.  You don't even have to say the words to them, you can be grateful silently - as long as it is authentic.

Hate mail is horrible.  It pains me to think something I wrote could hurt someone so much that they would send me a hateful and hurtful message.  However, it did.  This happens every day in the workplace.  And people are festering in their offices, feeling awful, rather than being fully engaged and contributing all that they have to offer.

It is with gratitude that I write this post. Indeed, I had a tough few hours, but I know people write and receive hate mail in the workplace and in their personal lives.  We'd like to believe we would simply not write it.  But in reality, it happens.  Work suffers and energy/time/life is wasted.  People are hurting. People get hurt.  The only way to deal with it is to stop the cycle with love.

Leadership is About You

What is leadership anyway?  A position?  A title?  Leading an organization or team or community?  Is it the senior executives or c-suite?  Does it entail having followers?

 Peter Drucker says a leader has followers.  Robin Sharma says a leader has no title.

And what about how to be a leader?  Do you need to be authoritative?  Aggressive?  Decisive?  Is leadership about ensuring your team of people are performing and providing incentives, rewards, or even discipline?  Must a leader be in command?  In charge?

Some say leaders are visionary or they empower and influence others.

Any of these definitions can be right.  And there are more to add.  The common thread is the leader him or herself.

Leadership is about the person.

A great leader - whether they are visionary, empowering, influential, decisive, or commanding - leads him or herself.  Leadership style is something else.

The first step in any kind of leadership is knowing yourself.  Self awareness is essential for excellence in leadership.

The next step is leading yourself to be the best you can be.  That means investigating your own thoughts and feelings.  A leader can not have focus, clarity, passion, and compassion (essentials for excellence in leadership) without knowing who they are.  How can you be clear with others when you don't know what you are feeling or why you are feeling a certain way?  Purposefully deciding to be the best you can be means making decisions that are in your best interest for your wellness and for others' wellness.  It involves compassion and empathy.

Self-investigation is key for excellent leadership.  And my definition of leadership has nothing to do with followers.  It is leading your life.  Leading your self.  Leading what you do.  Leading who you are.  This translates to leading your family, community, organization, team, or project.

You get to know yourself by getting quiet.  Slowing down.  Investigating.  Exploring.  Being open to what comes up and being with it - no matter what it is.

Every individual in an organization needs to be a leader for organizational success.

If you want leaders in your organization, give them the space to know themselves.  Allow them to develop their emotional intelligence, which includes intrapersonal and interpersonal skills.  Sure, give them the tools and knowledge to coach and manage well.  Put them through a leadership development program.  But if you are not willing to support their self-awareness and emotional intelligence growth, much of the leadership development will be lost.  Self-awareness is the foundation for good leadership.

The greatest leaders lead themselves, and people follow not because the leader makes them follow... but because the followers want to follow.  

Leaders may indeed have followers.  But influence comes from the leader's ability to be compassionate and be authentically concerned for the followers' well-being.  This ability comes from practice and a continual curiosity into who they are.  The key to learning this is to slow down, become aware of the  mind-body-spirit connection, and learn how to respond versus react.  It is not fluff... it is leadership.

Lead yourself.  The rest will follow.

Shifting a Negative Workplace

I have had so many clients talk about negative or toxic workplaces, that it's actually a little shocking to know that so many work environments are toxic - even though many of us know how that impacts business AND our health.  Changing negativity can come from a complete culture shift in the organization... or it can begin with individuals.  

What is a negative workplace?  Negativity can include (this is not an exhaustive list!):

• complaining
• resistance to change (or to anything, really)
• gossip
• criticism in the absence of the authentic desire to help
• yelling 
• punishment
• blame or judgement
• self-righteousness
• anger
• clinging to past or current ideas and not willing to move forward

When people are negative, it prevents a business from operating at its maximum potential. Afterall, a business or organization is simply made up of a bunch of people, so the way the people act will define how the workplace performs.  Negativity will come from many sources... beliefs and stories of each individual, jealously, lack of confidence, feelings of lacking control or not being included.... and many of these lead to good old stress... and believe it or not, being stressed is a choice.

Of course, it is accepted, and even encouraged, in our society to be 'stressed'.  So, it becomes perfectly acceptable for stress to be common in the workplace.  Changing that needs to come from you.  But awareness is needed first.

There are a ton of things you can do if you are a business owner, team leader, or HR Professional to begin to shift a negative environment or culture (including doing my Create Your Culture Program).  It can take years to accomplish a culture shift.  However, you can do something that can have a more immediate impact.  Negativity stems from each individual - in fact, it stems from each person's thoughts.  Using mindfulness and meditation (a tool to improve mindfulness) can help shift a negative word, action, or thought into a positive one.  Imagine the workplace when people begin doing this for themselves!

So now that you know this... or maybe you already knew this... what now? 

Start from the beginning.  Begin a mindful meditation group in the workplace (there are many types of meditation - I'm talking about mindful meditation).  
Novices often get the most value when they are guided.  You can find many guided meditations online, or, of course, you can check out one of my programs: Introduction to Mindful Meditation or Zen@Work.  Mindfulness is completely individual and experiential.  I can talk about it for hours or days and you will not know it until you practice it.  However, guidance and community helps to build new habits and learn what to do.

It is best if this group is voluntary.  Forcing someone to do a mindfulness program or to meditate is simply not mindful and unless the person WANTS to do it, it likely won't work and could result in even higher negativity.

People who are practicing begin to see shifts in their attitudes, language, and behaviours and others want some of what they have.  Negativity begins to shift because each person becomes aware of their own negative thoughts, words, and actions and, typically, begins to shift their responses.  Often with mindfulness comes a raised emotional intelligence.  And THAT is what will change negativity to positivity.

Clients sometimes ask me how they will measure the success of a workplace mindfulness program.  Well, the answer is quite simple.  Ask.  

Of course, you can measure productivity or absenteeism or customer complaints (with time and a high level of participation, these key performance indicators are known to improve), but the real measurement is in each individual. Evaluate how the practice has impacted them.  What shifted?  How do they now respond to a potentially stressful situation?  Do they experience more moments of presence and calm?  What about their level of happiness?  If you think these things don't matter to business, think again.  

Remember, your business operates because of the people in it.  When the people are positive, confident, courageous, and contributing, your business will be able to respond to opportunities and challenges with greater ease.

Tina Pomroy is a Mindful Leadership and Wellness Coach.  Connect with her at tina@pomroy.ca, Facebook, LinkedIn, or Twitter.

Do you Work for Money?

Who works because they have to in order to pay the bills?  Well... almost everyone!  Of course we work for money.  Why else would we work?

Here's the thing, though.  Wanting to make money, more money, lots of money.... is not right or wrong.  It is simply a desire or goal you have.  Being mindful about that means not attaching to it as being something that is necessary to make you feel happy or successful or complete.

What if we took money out of the equation when we decide where to work or what job to take or what business to start or why we stay in a job?  It's a no-brainer that money is necessary to live and MORE money is a nice thing to have.  Some people place a higher importance on it than others - and that's completely cool.  But are you happy?  Are you fulfilled?  Do you use money as your indicator for how successful you are?  After the excitement of the money wears off (because it always does), are you working at something you feel passionate about?  Do you feel like you are contributing to something?  Are you healthy and well?  Do you spend time doing things and being with the people you love?

You don't have to cure a terminal illness or create the solution to poverty to feel you are contributing.  One of our basic human needs is to feel we are contributing to something.  You can serve an ice cream cone on a boardwalk and smile to the customers, and you could be contributing to someone's well-being.

Being mindful doesn't mean living on the streets.  A mindful leader also has to work to pay the bills.   Being mindful means being aware, being in the moment, making conscious choices, and not attaching to the outcomes.  So a mindful leader may want to make money, and may even place it high on his or her list of goals - or not... but it's not what makes them happy or unhappy.  A mindful leader does not stress less just because they make more money.  Stresses are always there whether a collector is calling your house or your yacht just sunk.

What does your dream workplace/job/business look like?  Almost everyone will have 'make enough money to live the life I want' in the description.  But what else?  How are you contributing in your job or business?  What is REALLY important to you and how can that be incorporated into your workday and/or business?

So go ahead and work for money!  AND create meaning in your work.  If there's no meaning and you feel stressed or unwell a lot of the time, what is your money really worth?

Are you Disciplined Enough for a Meditation Practice?

I have been having a rough few months with my eating habits.  Funnily, I just developed and tested a Mind Fitness Program that helps groups make more mindful choices in their wellness! And although I have believed in choice for many years, I realized I had turned to trying to be disciplined over the last few months... and kept making unhealthy choices.

Many people that are trying to eat healthier or lose weight often use the phrase, "I should be more disciplined."  Well, I disagree.  Your discipline muscle will get tired after a while and you will give in to your cravings and old habits... UNLESS you create new habits that are meaningful for you.

You make choices in life.  You choose how to behave.  You choose what to think.  You choose to eat that chocolate bar... or not.  Being mindful means being aware of your choices... being aware of the impact they have... and not judging... yourself or others.

Practicing mindfulness is no different from eating healthy.  Your formal practice is very important for growing your mindfulness muscle, yet every single client I have had finds it difficult to meditate daily.  So do I some days!  So what is the problem?  And what is the solution?

Part of the problem is that you haven't found the reason that is meaningful for you to take on a mindfulness and meditation practice.  Is it to be healthier?  Is it so you can stop missing out on the moments in your life?  Is it so you can share it with others?  Is it so you can reduce stress?  Is it so you can be a better leader?  A calmer parent?  It doesn't matter what the reason is, you just have to have one.

Part of the problem is also that you may not truly see yourself as that kind of person.  So you try to change yourself by being disciplined.  But your discipline muscle depletes its energy and you are back to old habits because you have not truly chosen to be that kind of person.

What can you do?  Make a choice.  Choose to be a mindful person.  Choose to be that person that meditates each day.  Choose a lifestyle that works for behaving mindfully.  Choose how you design your weekly schedule and incorporate formal practice into it.  Choose to build a mindful team at work.  Choose to choose meditation.  And accept that whatever is... is.  Whatever you chose, you chose.  You can choose something different now... or tomorrow... or next month.  It's your choice!  And the outcomes from your choices are yours too.

Indeed, making the choices is not always easy - especially if you are not surrounded by like-minded people.  But guess what?  Every time you practice making the choice to be mindful, you have improved your mindfulness!  That's how it works.  Before you know it, you will believe wholeheartedly that you ARE that kind of person... the kind that meditates... or the kind that eats healthy... or the kind that rides a bike to work... or the kind that remains calm in a stressful situation.... or the kind that lives life to the fullest.... You are whatever you choose.  

So what's your choice? 

Dance Through the Laundry

I work from home.  Sometimes on Fridays I take an hour or two out of my workday to do house/personal stuff…. Run errands, fix the broken screen, tidy the toys, clean the dishes… or do laundry.

I don’t really enjoy laundry.  I stick it in the washer and dryer no problem, but I end up with mounds of clean clothes and towels at the end of the week, and I’m not too fussy about folding it all.  So I blast the music and dance while I fold.  It can be one of the most enjoyable times in my day, and I’m totally pumped to get more work done afterwards (I just finished folding five loads and am finally getting to the blog!).

I have been a dancer my entire life, although I haven’t always taken classes.  I have been known to incorporate dance into my workshops and team meetings.  Yeah, I’m one of those people.  But, really… everyone is always more energized afterwards.

So I thought…. Why not incorporate dance breaks into your work day?  It really doesn’t matter where you are or what you do.  You just have to get a song on your phone these days and start moving.  People smile and laugh, release endorphins, get the blood flowing, and tend to get focused on the moment.  Yes… get focused on the moment…. Get mindful.

I worked with a client who had laughing breaks in their workplace daily – love that idea too!  Why not dance?  Imagine the lady holding the road sign dancing while you passed?  Imagine the customer service clerk having a little shake while he answered the phone?  Imagine getting your team together for a little boogie mid-day to remember to laugh, dance, and enjoy this moment? 

The rewards go beyond having fun, being healthy, or ramping up your energy.  Getting back to the moment through movement can also lessen stress and improve creativity.  The next time you or your team are stuck on a decision or conflict is rising... dance through the laundry.

Dance on!

The Entrepreneur's Response To: 'How's Business?'

I attended a conference last week for The Newfoundland and Labrador Organization for Women Entrepreneurs.  It was a wonderful opportunity to network with other business owners and listen to some fabulous speakers share their insights on business topics.  And it was an opportunity to practice answering the question, 'How's business?'

Have you ever wondered if your answer to that question was helping or hindering you?

I recently realized I do not like that question and my answer often made me feel icky - so it was hindering me.  In my mindfulness practice, I am learning to manage the highs and lows in life and business.  One of the mindful leadership traits I practice is poise - and, let's be honest, I'm still practicing!  When someone asks the question, 'How's business?' I've struggled with the answer.

At times business is fabulous and I want to scream from the mountaintops that I'm making it!  Some big contract just came through... my week is full of clients... I exceeded a goal... etc.  And then at times business is slow, I'm marketing and developing and making connections - or sometimes not.  Maybe I didn't win a contract or maybe my week has no revenue generating activities.  At those times I'd like to tell the person asking me the question how tough everything is.

But I don't do that either.  Anymore.

Entrepreneurs, especially those in their first few years of business, often have extreme highs and lows.  The excitement of securing a large contract in an industry you've been targeting for a year is as thrilling as not having any revenue generating activity on the books for a week (or two or three) is devastating.  To be able to go home at night and live happily means being able to manage the extremes.

Most entrepreneurs consciously choose this path.  We enter it knowing the struggles and chaos facing us.  We know 80% of businesses fail in the first two years - and many of us have already been one of those statistics.  We know we likely won't have a regular salary for a year or two or three.  And we know we are passionate and want to lead the way with a concept or service or product and not follow someone else's idea.  It's part of who we are.  But it doesn't mean we know how to manage it all.

Entrepreneurs often feel alone.  They do not want to let others know they are struggling in business in fear of losing potential clients, contracts, or employees.  They feel responsible for their employees' lives.  They feel responsible for ensuring enough money comes into the family to put food on the table.  When something fails in business, they take it on as a personal failure.  Entrepreneurs feel the weight of the world on their shoulders.

When an entrepreneur can bring mindful leadership into their business and work, they can alleviate the weight.  Of course, meditation as a daily practice will help anyone feel less stressed and more energetic.  However, it's the minor adjustments of the mind throughout the day that will make a powerful impact on how an entrepreneur feels about business.

According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, acceptance is one of the attitudinal factors for mindfulness.  As an entrepreneur, accepting that a low in business gives you an opportunity to take care of something will allow you to see the low in a different light.  For me, I see the slow times in business as an opportunity to tweak, develop, and take care of me on a personal level.  It has taken some time to accept these slow times as, not only needed, but enjoyable.  For other businesses, the slow times can present an opportunity to implement a new process, evaluate customer service, or build team cohesiveness.  Interestingly, when diving into these development activities, sales often rise as a result.

Another attitudinal factor for mindfulness is letting go.  Entrepreneurs want to be 'successful'.  We want our businesses to thrive.  We are either passionate about what we offer or are passionate about business itself - or both.  When we are succeeding in business, we want to hold on to it.... we want it to last forever.... we want to continue to grow and thrive and have fabulous work cultures.  But it never works that way.  Things change.  The environment changes.  People change.  Demands change.  And business must go through these changes in order to thrive again.  When entrepreneurs can let go of the need to hold onto the pleasure from the high times, it is easier to flow into transition times or low times.  And this takes poise.  A mindful leader will be able to celebrate successes without needing them for validation for personal success and be mindful that today's success does not guarantee tomorrow's.  A mindful leader and entrepreneur will be as happy and content with the success as with the failure because he/she will let go of the pleasant or unpleasant feelings and know that all that really matters is this moment, and this moment is truly beautiful.

All of this takes practice - a lot of practice.  It does not mean we don't work hard to succeed or have a thriving business.  It means we can accept where we are, take action, and not cling to business success as a factor for happiness.  It means entrepreneurs can stop feeling the weight of the world and start loving the moments.  It's OK.  And it will make business even better.

So when people now ask, "How's business?"  I'm practicing the response, "I love it."  That is the truth.  And I'm just like any entrepreneur who is learning to manage the highs and lows that come with being a passionate entrepreneur.

Namaste

Using Mindfulness to Get Your Priorities Straight

Ever feel like you are in one place but you really need to be in another?  You have that 'to-do' list that as you cross one thing off, two more things are added and it keeps growing?  And you can't get it off your mind?  You wish you could be in two places at once.

Mindfulness teaches us to be present and to be where we are.  It teaches us to leave the past and future thoughts and get the most out of what you are doing at the present moment.  And that's one way of dealing with the problem of not being able to focus in the present moment.

However, when you really are not getting your priorities addressed, you are probably in the wrong place.  Being mindful will also help you know when you are in the wrong place and get to the right place.

I don't claim to be perfectly mindful.  Nor do I claim to be 100% dedicated to my meditation practice. But because of my practice and knowledge, I know when I need to step back and get re-aligned. When I'm not being fully present, I usually realize it pretty quickly and get mindfully present.  I highly recommend it for an amazing life and business with amazing results.  Lately, though, I've been losing sight of my priorities.  And the universe has a funny way of showing us when things are out of whack!

A lot of external demands are getting my attention lately.  One of those is my 2 1/2 year old waking almost every night again for about a month, hence, I'm working on less sleep and  much less deep sleep - which is what we require for our cognitive function to be at its best.  That one can't really be controlled - except that I need to get to bed earlier (which is a blog in itself!).

However, I also have had other demands that I've been giving my attention to - others wanting to meet, the feeling that I must be networking all the time, responding to emails as soon as possible, the ever lengthening list of newsletters I must read, taking care of my family, being there for my friends in need - you know that list.  Well, yeah, my list is looking like this lately.  And if I wasn't going to do something about it, the universe was.

Last night, I had an awful dream and woke with a feeling that I couldn't shake.  I had a 9:00 full-day networking event scheduled, I had to pack for a trip I'm leaving for tomorrow, and I have at least four items on my list that I must get done before I leave.  I managed to get my daughter to daycare (my hubby is traveling for work) and arrive just a few minutes into the 9:00 session.  I sat through the first session trying desperately to pay attention but my mind wandered to my 'to-do' list. Knowing I have full control of my thoughts, I began to practice accepting that I have a lot to do and I'm here now so be here.

I managed to get through the morning, but I was almost forcing my pitch to potential clients.  I certainly was not in the right head space.  Then, I found out that I was on the list for pitching my business one on one to potential clients for the afternoon.  Last week, my printer broke, and I did not get my brochures printed for this event - however, I was OK with that because I didn't think I was on that list!  I took a moment to think about what would happen if I pitched my business without feeling prepared.  And I decided to give up my coveted seat for the afternoon session to someone on the wait-list.  I was feeling guilty while driving home, my mind was in the clouds, and I was stopped by a police officer for speeding!  Yes!  I got a ticket!

I really need to be in the office right now.  I need to take care of business.  I need to focus.  I need to clear off my desk.  Although all of the things demanding my attention are important, my priorities lie at taking care of other things, including taking care of my sleep!

Being mindful is not woo-woo and fluff.  In fact, it's as practical as it gets.  When you are mindful, you inquire about your feelings and thoughts.  When mind wandering started for me this morning (and recent weeks), I questioned what was going on for me to be unable to focus.  Lack of sleep was the first answer, of course.  But I continued to dig and got to the real answers - for me it is literally to spend time in the office getting things done and stop feeling guilty about not networking enough.. When you have the real answers, you can find the solutions that really work, rather than the band-aid ones.

If your list is growing and you really feel you are in the wrong place, try closing your eyes, pay attention to the feeling and sound of your breath, and question - what do you really need to be doing in order to enable yourself to feel present in your life?  What is the ONE thing you can do that will make a big difference to your focus and productivity?  Then do that.  Scratch off all the things that aren't real priorities and get your priorities straight.  And while you're at it, spend a little time meditating - because that will help you feel better in all ways.

Tina Pomroy uses mindfulness as a tool for managers, leaders, and business owners to be highly productive, lead high performing teams, and experience peace and happiness at work and in life.

Hire Higher

So many people have asked me how to hire the right people that will stay.  There are many solutions for attraction and retention challenges, and the right one for you depends on your culture and current practices.  However, finding the right person will depend on being the right environment.

I recently heard about a young woman interviewed at a photography studio.  She is a smart, enthusiastic young lady with a strong work ethic who gets enjoyment out of serving customers with excellence.  When she was called to be interviewed that same day, she cancelled an appointment in order to prepare for the interview.  She was excited to potentially have her first job as a photographer - she'd already taken courses, had fun with the camera, given all of her friends and family the gift of photography, and was ready for a paid photography experience.

The young woman was seated in the customer area when she arrived... and that's where she stayed for an hour.  The interviewer joined her for a few minutes to give her forms to complete and left her again. When the interviewer returned, she asked about hours of availability, and then, "Do you want the job?"  The young lady said yes.  The interviewer then proceeded to tell her about all of the awful job applicants she had received and the problems they have with recruitment and retention.  Customers were in ear shot and the other employees carried on with each other having fun.... but in an unprofessional manner.  All of this was noted by the young woman being interviewed.

The young woman accepted the job... with a caveat she didn't share with the interviewer.  She was accepting the position to gain experience, and then she would leave.  She had no intention of working in such an unprofessional environment for a long period of time.  She valued excellence in customer service and wanted to work in an environment that also valued that kind of excellence.

This is not the first time I've heard a story like this.

If you want to hire 'higher'.... give your current management and employees the skills required to perform higher.  Create a professional workplace that people with the right skills will want to work in... and stay working in.  If you want to hire a person with excellence in specific skills or attitudes, make sure your workplace IS that first.

Excellence in management and leadership is the first requirement to hire higher.  Finding and keeping the right person for the job is about first having an environment that person wants to work in.

Start cultivating excellence among your current team, and the right people will begin to show up... and will be more likely to stay.

Flat Tire

Several years ago, I was driving on the highway with my young daughter and I got a flat tire.  I'd driven my car for numerous work trips across our geographically large province, some trips totaling over 2000 km in distance.  My poor tire had enough.  It had worn thin.  It wasn't strong enough to withstand whatever it was I drove over that day, and it flattened.

My daughter was probably around 10 years old at the time.  Of course, Mama had to be the rescuer!  However, Mama didn't have the strength to remove the nuts off the tires to get the tire off!  So I did the next best thing.  When a motorcyclist stopped, I accepted his help.  Less than a half hour later, we waved off our lovely savior and laughed most of the way home.

It was so easy to laugh off that experience.  It was a sunny day.  We were giggling at me trying to get the nuts off the tire.  The whole event was just a blip in life and we shared the hilarious story many times afterwards.

Why then, is it so hard to fix the figurative flat tire in life?

When you are an entrepreneur, or a manager, or a parent.... you are on 'Go' from the moment you wake to the moment your head hits the pillow at night.  You may even have trouble sleeping even though you're totally wiped.  At some point, your energy depletes like the air in a tire and you go flat.  You get unfocused.  You might scream at someone.  You forget to tell your husband that you need him to take the baby to daycare in the morning, resulting in a messy morning (yes, this happened to me recently). You are busy but unproductive.

You have a flat tire.

And you need to fill it with air or other things will start to break.

You know this feeling of a flat tire.  It comes as confusion.  Overwhelm.  Chaos.  Indecisiveness.  Negativity.  Low energy.  A feeling of spinning your wheels - which is kind of funny since you have a flat tire!

And you know what to do to fix it.  Take a break.  Breathe.  Meditate.  Exercise.  Do some yoga.  Walk in nature.  Talk it out with a coach.  Organize your thoughts.  Revisit your vision.  All  mindfulness techniques.

But you don't.  You keep on going with your flat tire until you have heart palpitations.  (I know this because I've had them.)

The answer to fixing your flat tire is awareness.  Openness.  And practice.  Know the signs.  Open yourself to just being and freeing your mind.  Practice a mindfulness technique daily.  And experience the harmony it brings to your business and your life.

Oh, and accept help from others.  And laugh.  Without those things, I'd still be on the highway with a flat tire.

Namaste